Miasma

This post is a container to describe the generalised sense of harm by association that I get when triggered by something specific connected to Pigface, his allies and proxies.

There is a subcontainer about his mechanism of control and narrative distortion.

The harm that Pigface wrought hangs in the air like a poisonous miasma around everything related to mum and therefore to him: the thefts, the isolation and deliberate neglect of mum under the official tag of "care"; the going against everything she wanted because he is a bulldozer and she is a daisy; the shocking announcement of his marriage days after dad died, then going away to get married a couple of weeks after dad's funeral, leaving mum, confused, still ill from a nasty virus and in grief. The obstruction, positioning, threats, coercion, manipulation, accusations, the narrative distortion, the lies and alliances, the control of everything.

It was like a lockdown of control on anything and everything connected to mum, except the actually important stuff like her health appointments: the doctor, physio, podiatry, dentist, opticians, audiologist.  All of what he must have seen as "nuisance dross" he left to me and I was glad to do it.  

I was profoundly afraid of Pigface, of the kind of person that would stoop to those depths: what he was patently willing to do for control and power and greed and what more he might be willing to do. I could see there were not brakes on him whatsoever.  It was as if he had sold his soul to the devil.  I don't think there is anything he would not do nor have done to get what he wanted. He was, is, completely and utterly ruthless.  

I knew I was not able to stand up to someone so dedicated to wrongdoing and so committed to twist the truth to make it fit the delusion that allowed all of that grabbing to happen. It wasn't just my body that kept freezing from the attacks, my mind froze at the sheer evil of it.

All of this was part of the backdrop that came and still comes to mind every time I am triggered by something related to him, or his allies or something they did.  

That chilly touch, the nausea rising from proximity to that miasma is the warning that the whirlpool is not far away and that it is time to shift.